It all Leads to
by TheLogicalDreamer
Summary: Winn ponders his past as it leads to an important moment of his life.


It all leads to...

He never saw it coming. His dad seemed fine and normal then one night he fell apart and ruined everything. He killed five innocent people with the toys he sold to children. To little kids just like him. Toys that he once helped him make. For what? Revenge? It twisted his gut just thinking about it. His father went from someone who swore to protect him to a psychotic mass murderer in a night.

But the worst of it wasn't that his father became a crazy lunatic, no, it was the fact that he was abandoned by the one person he thought would always be there and love him. His mother left him when he needed her the most.

He remembered it clearly. Some nights it haunted his dreams forcing him to relive it over and over again. How cold he felt in the pajamas he wore when the police came to his house to arrest his father. The floor of the Police Station like ice under his bare feet as he waited for his mom to come get him. The coldness that seeped into his heart when it was revealed that his mom wasn't coming at all. Losing his dad was hard, but losing both his parents on the same night? That was even harder.

He was put in a foster home that liked to remind him every day how grateful he should have been that they even took him in and gave him a home. It was never truly home. No, a home was where you felt loved and wanted and was filled with a family that showed up and stayed because they wanted to be with you. He was grateful for the roof over his head, but he never felt that connection he once had with his parents. He was alone.

He was ashamed of his parentage. He never told anyone who his dad was. He told people he didn't know his true parents so they wouldn't ask too many questions and would just leave him alone. He wanted to change his name, but his guardians wouldn't let him. He was stuck with the reminder of who he was, that he was Winslow Schott Jr. son of the Toymaker and the woman that abandoned her child.

In school, he was a bit of a nerd. He liked building and fixing things and he was good at it. A part of him knew that his engineering talent came from his father and a fear would bubble to the surface that maybe he will end up just like his father. Would he be capable of such an evil? Every time he got upset or angry he wondered, was that the day he became his father? Was he finally going to snap? He had to fight every day to not let the hate and anger towards them consume him. He was nothing like them and he wanted to prove he was better than them. To prove he wasn't a coward. He didn't run. But he found it harder and harder not to be like that. Maybe it was just in his DNA.

He couldn't let anyone know this though. He had to keep it inside. That's when he discovered his love of theater. It taught him how to become someone new. Someone who wasn't the shy and hardened kid he had become. He found a way to open up and become the person he once was. He could pretend that his past never happened. He could create a whole new Winn and no one would know the troubled soul beneath. Plus, he enjoyed the singing and dancing.

He dove into the things he loved. He dove into comic books and the science fiction. He became obsessed with the real-life superheroes. He loved Superman the most. He dreamed of being able to help him fight crime and save innocent people. He believed in what Superman stood for. He was a symbol of hope when all of his hope was lost. He knew that no child would have to suffer through what he had to with Superman around. No one would be lost and alone with a hero there to save them.

As Winn grew up, he studied in engineering and mechanics, not that it really mattered when he got a job as the IT guy at CatCo. Don't get him wrong, he was grateful for a job from the most powerful woman in the city, nay, the world. But his hands were made to make. He felt as though his talents were wasted. All these snooty reporters looking at him like he didn't belong, and trust him, he knew perfectly well he didn't. He didn't belong anywhere. He just kept his head down and did his work.

Then she came into his life. Kara Danvers. He had literally bumped into her as she came out of the elevator to go to her interview for Cat Grant's new assistant position and it took all his power not to quote Phantom Menace and say, "Are you an Angel?" Phantom Menace? Really? But no matter, he was able to repress it and just gap like a fish and laugh awkwardly as she apologized. So that was better...right?

He chased after her and told her that it was okay and introduced himself to her. For once he used his full name, he had a feeling she wouldn't care or even know who his dad was. For once he felt a connection with someone that he could be himself with. Their friendship grew quickly and so did his feelings for her.

She was amazing. She was special, and him? He was the kid of a cowardly murderer. He never stood a chance with her. So for two years, he followed her around like a lost puppy, too scared to tell her how he felt. Just like his dad, he was a coward and kept his feelings bottled up inside of him waiting to explode. He was a ticking bomb and it was a matter of time.

There was a heaviness on his shoulders for not telling Kara who he truly was. He was scared and ashamed to tell her. What if she didn't want to be friends anymore? Sure, he loved her and having her not feel the same was agony, but to not have her in his life at all? The thought left a bad taste in his mouth. No. He needed her more than he would ever admit.

It turned out she had a secret of her own. Possibly one that was even bigger than his. She was an Alien. But not just any alien, a Kryptonian, and was related to Superman himself. She was related to his hero and wanted to become a hero too. His dream was finally coming true.

He immediately jumped at the chance to help out Supergirl. He made her a suit that would be suitable for fighting and flight. It took a few tries, but with Kara's faith in him, they were able to get it just right. They were a team. They were "Superfriends." Which caught on after some nudging on Winn's end.

Then a new obstacle came into the playing field in the form of James Olsen. He wasn't a bad guy or anything, heck, it was hard not to like him. He was stealing Kara's attention and she liked him...as in liked him liked him. In a romantic way. It stung. He was there for her for how long and he was pushed to the side? But he knew that that thinking was wrong. She didn't owe him anything, she didn't even know he loved her. He had hoped she would feel the same, but he won't be a James Olsen. She would never turn her head towards him. He was fine with that. He could control his feelings, he could just push them aside like they are nothing. He was nothing.

He was fine. He was in ignorant bliss, his head in the clouds that maybe he could be happy. Then his father had to come back and ruin everything. He filled his head with ideas and thoughts. Was he like his dad? Will he pull a Kylo Ren and finish what he started? Will he become some sort of doll maker? He had kept so much inside, when will he go off? Will it be as destructive as his father? In a panic, he took advantage of his best friend. He ruined their friendship with a kiss.

He felt shame in his actions, but he wasn't his father. He wasn't a coward, he wouldn't allow himself to be a coward. So he told Kara how he felt for her. He knew that she didn't feel the same so he asked for time. He needed to get his feet back on the ground after the fall from the clouds.

Kara persisted, she was stubborn and determined to save their friendship. He admired that about her, but she didn't realize the pain it was just to see her at work every day let alone her trying to fix things. No matter what she did, she couldn't melt a shattered heart back into place with her heat vision. He needed to work this out alone.

Alone didn't work out very well and he grew lonely. He realized that he needed Kara in his life. Who cared if she loved him too? He needed the one person he felt himself with. Who he felt linked to. Who kept the voices, that told him he will become his father, at bay.

When she was attacked by a face-sucking creature, he knew he couldn't stay away anymore. He fell back into his role of being her best friend and things were normal. Well, something next to normal.

He tried to move on. He dated a girl who seemed to really like him, but of course, she turned into a screaming powered psychopath. He really drew them in didn't he? He was like a flame to a moth when it came to these maniacs. Was it an "opposite attracts" type of situation or a "Takes one to know one?" He honestly would like to know so he could at least be prepared next time.

Then he lost control of himself thanks to Myriad and nearly lost his life. He didn't feel particularly inclined to go back to the building that he jumped off of, so he asked J'onn if he could join the DEO. He proved himself quite a few times that he could handle himself that J'onn agreed on the spot.

Well, not really. He had to do a bit of convincing, but who really was paying attention to those little details? Not him or anyone else. No, they pay attention to big details, like the man in the pod that crash landed on earth? Cat Grant leaving CatCo? Who would run CatCo? Yeah. Those were big details.

And so last year happened. James became the head of CatCo and not only that he wanted to become some dark knight of National city. Yes, Gotham's was awesome, but not compared to how awesome he made the Guardian. He made him a suit that was packed with gadgets Batman only dreamed of! Though, he did have the cool belt...maybe the next design.

So he became the man in the chair to help James in his fights. They kept it from Kara and for that, it gnawed his conscious. After all that happened, the last thing he wanted was to keep secrets from her. He was done pretending to be something he wasn't. But, he was helping people. Maybe not directly but close enough.

So when they revealed it to her he was more than relieved that the cat was out of the box. She was upset but he understood why. He was a bit sad that she didn't see them as someone who can help her protect the city, but he also saw where she was coming from.

He met the legendary Superman! How could he forget to leave that part out? He, Winn Schott Jr. Met his hero, Superman, AKA Clark Kent! He helped Superman! That was his dream for so long it was hard to wrap his head around it.

Then there was the pretty boy from a neighboring planet of Krypton. He was a jerk to put it in softer terms, but he learned and grew as a person which Winn respected. Anyone who could act like a prince to a pauper because of a girl...wait. That, that wasn't a good thing to say. Overall, Mon-El was a decent guy.

But then Kara was drawn into another pretty face. It hurt. He couldn't just shut off the feelings he held for her for so long. He knew he still loved her and the pain of knowing he'll never have her was too much for him. He threw himself into his work, helping James, going to an Alien world! That was definitely new. Slowly he saw their friendship fade a bit. It was no longer Kara and Winn, they weren't the best friends they once were.

And then he met Lyra. She was an Alien that seemed crazy for him. But what has his life showed him? He always picks the crazies. She was a thief that was using him. She had a change of heart and they had a good physical relationship. Really good. But, he needed something she couldn't give him. She couldn't give him connection and the feeling of home. They ended things quietly, he didn't want to make a big fuss out of it. Especially after what Kara went through.

Poor, beautiful Kara. She fell in love only have to sacrifice it to save the world. If he was put in that situation, he couldn't do it. She was very brave, but he now knew what it was like to see the woman of steel broken. It made his heart physically hurt to see her that upset.

Of course, it didn't last for long when Mon-El and friends from the future showed up again just to put the salt on her barely healing wounds. Oh, and he was married. He wanted to hit the jerk, but he did an Elsa. Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. Maybe if he controlled his anger no one would be at risk.

And Supergirl was facing off her greatest foe ever. Reign and her World Killer friends, (even the names were terrifying) were hard for her to handle. He could see the frustration and fear. He knew that each step she took she broke a little inside. He could see the light that shined so brightly in her eyes dying out. The pain was taking over Supergirl and Kara Danvers.

So through all their pain and suffering. Through all that he had to go through, it all lead to this one moment. Beating Supergirl at Karaoke. The "Kara" of Karaoke was going down.

He let her pick his song, he didn't want her to think he was practicing at home and cheated. No. He was going to win this battle. He may not have superpowers, he may not be out there saving people on a daily basis, but he was the man in the van. The man in the chair. He was the mind behind everything and he knew how each of them ticked. Oh yes, victory was his….then his mom showed up. Joy.


End file.
